I’m thinking of getting a second job because I am not making ends meet.
I have been trying to make extra income by affiliate marketing but I haven’t made a sale in two years.
I have been praying to God for help but it seems like he doesn’t care about me.
It doesn’t seem fair to me that I have been tithing and helping people but God doesn’t help me.
I just want to start making enough passive income so that I can quit my job as a housekeeper.
I am beginning to think that God isn’t a provider because if it wasn’t for me working I wouldn’t be making money.
He doesn’t put in the work, I do.
But like a dummy I give 10% of my paycheck to help Israelis in need.
Seriously I am struggling, I am questioning my faith, I am beginning to think that I am unworthy of life.
I don’t want to get a second job but I see no other way of making ends meet.
I know that I would miss my family. I know that I would be sleep deprived, I know that I would turn my back on God because of this, because he is supposed to be a provider and a good dad.
I should not surprise me though.
He wasn’t a good father towards Jesus Christ, after all what kind of father would have His innocent child tortured and killed for guilty servants.
Why should I expect Him to help me out.
Writing this is getting me depressed but I must come to terms with these facts. They aren’t made up conjecture, they are facts spelled out in scripture.
They are realities I must face. They are truths that cut me to the bone.
I wish things were different, but they are not.
Comments
Post a Comment